skip navigation

The Cobras Down the Red Birds, Umpire’s Hair On Fire (6/21/19)

By Staff , 06/25/19, 9:38AM CDT


It was a beautiful evening in Coon Rapids, MN.  Your favorite squad was primed and ready to take on the Red Birds at Wintercrest Park.  Starting for the Snakes in navy shirts and white pants was Matt Germar, the German himself.  Starting for the Birds in their home red pinstripes was some young guy.

The Cobras would start off with a couple of runs on a consecutive singles by Cole Easley and Mike Lenertz to plate 2.  With a 2-1 lead, assisted by some questionable defense by Coon Rapids, the visitors would extend the lead to 6-1 while Germar gave way to Kieran Liming after 3 strong.  The Liming would run into trouble in the 5th, however, reducing the lead to 2.  Taking over pitching duties would be trouble maker and all around bad dude Ben Resnick.  After throwing 4 pitches to establish a 2-2 count with 2 outs and bases loaded, the Red Birds would notify the umpire of a balk.  At that very moment, the umpire began seeing red.  Laser beams shot out from his eyes, hair burst into flame and the stuff had hit the fan.  This humble reporter, helpless, watched in horror as he began his tirade.

In disbelief, Resnick would turn around, ball in glove, and walk right back to the mound.  The umpire would KICK HIM OUT OF THE GAME, and followed him to the mound to escort him off the field.  In would come nice guy Danny Smith, to try to calm the storm.  When the inning was finally over, the Cobras lead was gone, tied up 6-6.  In the following at bat, gentleman Nate Lutmer would plead politely for consistency and a reduction in suckery.  Tossed.  Chris Code would ask the umpire if he was doing alright, offering to listen if he needed to rant about a bad day.  Tossed.  Matt Germar, out of the game, would explain to the umpire his resemblance to a porcelain appliance favored in many bathrooms.  Tossed.  Mason Reinhart would also mention to him that he seems to be overly sensitive.  Not tossed?  Well good, because the Cobras now had 3 innings left to play with exactly 9 guys remaining eligible and no bullpen.

Danny Smith took on the challenge with a flourish of painted corners and 12-6 curveballs to keep the Red Birds at bay.  In the top of the 9th a new reliever would take the mound against the Snakes and provide an opportunity to score.  With a runner on, Jeff Miller would take one for the team, HBP.  Next, a walk and the bases were loaded.  The Cobras would put 3 points up on the board.  Danny would shut down the bottom of the inning to finish the game, which felt like it took forever, screaming “YEAH!” like he was auditioning for Braveheart 2.  The Team would convene in the parking lot to drink beer and attempt to process what had happened.  Kangaroo Court was held, and Gabe MacDonald extended his fine count lead.  The Snakes will travel out to Chanhassen on Sunday for a 7:30pm game.