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COBRAS GAME STORIES

It was a beautiful evening in Coon Rapids, MN.  Your favorite squad was primed and ready to take on the Red Birds at Wintercrest Park.  Starting for the Snakes in navy shirts and white pants was Matt Germar, the German himself.  Starting for the Birds in their home red pinstripes was some young guy.

The Cobras would start off with a couple of runs on a consecutive singles by Cole Easley and Mike Lenertz to plate 2.  With a 2-1 lead, assisted by some questionable defense by Coon Rapids, the visitors would extend the lead to 6-1 while Germar gave way to Kieran Liming after 3 strong.  The Liming would run into trouble in the 5th, however, reducing the lead to 2.  Taking over pitching duties would be trouble maker and all around bad dude Ben Resnick.  After throwing 4 pitches to establish a 2-2 count with 2 outs and bases loaded, the Red Birds would notify the umpire of a balk.  At that very moment, the umpire began seeing red.  Laser beams shot out from his eyes, hair burst into flame and the stuff had hit the fan.  This humble reporter, helpless, watched in horror as he began his tirade.

In disbelief, Resnick would turn around, ball in glove, and walk right back to the mound.  The umpire would KICK HIM OUT OF THE GAME, and followed him to the mound to escort him off the field.  In would come nice guy Danny Smith, to try to calm the storm.  When the inning was finally over, the Cobras lead was gone, tied up 6-6.  In the following at bat, gentleman Nate Lutmer would plead politely for consistency and a reduction in suckery.  Tossed.  Chris Code would ask the umpire if he was doing alright, offering to listen if he needed to rant about a bad day.  Tossed.  Matt Germar, out of the game, would explain to the umpire his resemblance to a porcelain appliance favored in many bathrooms.  Tossed.  Mason Reinhart would also mention to him that he seems to be overly sensitive.  Not tossed?  Well good, because the Cobras now had 3 innings left to play with exactly 9 guys remaining eligible and no bullpen.

Danny Smith took on the challenge with a flourish of painted corners and 12-6 curveballs to keep the Red Birds at bay.  In the top of the 9th a new reliever would take the mound against the Snakes and provide an opportunity to score.  With a runner on, Jeff Miller would take one for the team, HBP.  Next, a walk and the bases were loaded.  The Cobras would put 3 points up on the board.  Danny would shut down the bottom of the inning to finish the game, which felt like it took forever, screaming “YEAH!” like he was auditioning for Braveheart 2.  The Team would convene in the parking lot to drink beer and attempt to process what had happened.  Kangaroo Court was held, and Gabe MacDonald extended his fine count lead.  The Snakes will travel out to Chanhassen on Sunday for a 7:30pm game.

Cobras Ground Hawks, Billy Still Vocal (6/19/19)

By Staff 06/25/2019, 9:34am CDT

On a picturesque night, the Cobras ventured out from their Cobra nest to prairies of Hastings, MN to face the soaring Hawks, native to the land.  Now, normally a hawk would have a distinct advantage over the snake.  What with the height advantage and superior eyesight and all.  However, this night would prove to be payback for all the slithery snakes that have been snatched up and torn apart over the years.

D. Mason, of the Mason clan, would start for the visitors and would face a spectacled young lad whose proud papa was out in centerfield on a ladder to record his son’s glorious start.  Hopefully he left the lens cap on, as the Cobras would sting the young lad for 3 in the first inning, and a myriad of hits and errors would plate 10 (TEN!) in the second.  Scoreboards don’t have double digits for a reason folks, but after the first 5 innings the Cobras had hung a 3-0-2-0-4.  That’s 19 runs readers, if my Minnesota math serves me correctly.

The Cobras would use all pitching available to them in this tune up, and even Gabe MacDonald would get chance to strut his stuff around the mound.  Final score, 20-4 in a route of the Hawks.  As one Hawk would say to this reporter, “I’d rather be doing homework right now.”  I suppose that’s why you’re losing 20-4.

After the game there was a parking lot fiasco where beer was stationed at rendezvous point 1, and half the team coagulated at rendezvous point 2.  A war of attrition ensued, which was finally won by RDVP 1, considering it had the beer.

Guess whose back… Back again.  ML Soggybottom here, your mostly stable sideline reporter to give you the news from almost a week ago.  The Cobras faced off against big city squad Metro Merchants on a lovely Monday evening at Parade Stadium.  Wait, this can’t be right… again?  The Cobras play the Merchants for the third time in a half a season?  My intern tells me yes, indeed that’s the case.  Starting for the Merchants is Big Dave.  They call him that because he comes up big in big games, and his name is Dave.  Starting for the Snakes was ColeD.  He’s so cold hearted he’s got ice in his veins.

ColeD started off the visitors’ first batter with two strikes.  He then promptly smoked him with a 98 mph curve ball.  Besides a line drive out to the right fielder, he would proceed to strike out 7 of the 9 hitters in his first go through the lineup.  Big Dave would respond with solid initial innings of his own.  However a couple of runs would scrape across the plate to put the Cobras up 2-0.

As the game wore on, the Snakes would add a couple more runs to extend the lead, and ColeD would exit the game after 4 shutout innings.  Pitching and defense would hold the Merchants pointless the remainder of the game, while the offense called Flo for more insurance.  Cobras win 7-0.

After the game, libations were consumed while court was held and fines were distributed liberally.

Once again, the Cobras were invited to play in the Josh Harrison Memorial Tournament down in Cannon Falls.  Josh played first base for Bears until a disease took his life far too early.  Cannon Falls continues his legacy each year, hosting this tournament at beautiful John Burch Park along the Cannon River just below the downtown area.  The field features a short left porch with a high fence, which juts out fairly straight towards center field.  The rest of the dimensions could be considered normal and well kept.

 

The Cobras would take on familiar foe Metro Merchants in game one Friday night, and get out to an early lead.  Late in the game the Merchants would tie it up 4-4, but in the next Cobras at bat they would take the lead 8-4 to bust the game open.  Your favorite Snakes would celebrate the victory by crushing free popcorn and not-free hot dogs.  A mishmash of Busch Light and Mich Golden Light of 3.2 beer were also purchased.  Fines and laughs could be heard for a country mile.

 

The Tournament would continue for your Snakes with a game against New Richmond, scheduled for 4:00pm on Saturday.  The Cobras were ready to field a squad, but the weather had other plans.  Rain forced the Tournament Director to postpone the game until the following day, and in a fit of rage the Cobras would go to brewery not a quarter mile away to drink away the frustration.  They succeeded.

 

Sunday morning proved a challenging one for numbers.  However, the Snakes fielded a full team and would win the game, putting them in the Championship at 6pm.  An executive decision was made to NOT stick around until 6 to start a game, as the Cobras opted to play at 3:00 which some may call the 3rd place contest.  This pitted the Cobras against host Cannon Falls, who would start long time veteran Keith Myers.  The Snakes would also start someone, and a game was played.  The Cobras were down 2-1 late in the game, but rallied to score 2 runs in late in the game and earn the victory.  Can you win every game and not win the Championship?  We may never know.

It was a clear blue day, a hot warm sun

Derek M. is on the bump, trying to hold runs

Skeeters out in droves, he got bit as funk

Just rollin’ in a groove, chillin’ all alone

Mason hit the hillside, dropped it by a tree

On a mission to run support Mr. Derek M.

Seen a bunch of town ball fans, no need to freak

All the skirts know Mase droppin’ B’s on ‘em

M.L. Looseglove, your humble town ball reporter, thanking Warren G. for the opener.  On this moist, hot afternoon, your Cobras took on the Angels at The Blake School.  Due to a rain-driven postponement on May 21, scheduling complications required this new arena on this later date.  Derek Mason started for the home team, while the Angels would call on #29 Chad Naegeli, a surgical lefty.

Mr. Derek M. rolled through the Angels lineup for the first few innings, while Naegeli responded with zeroes of his own in his first time through the Cobras lineup.  Finally, the Snakes would begin the scoring in the bottom of the third, led off by a Brandon Schmahl single.  Mason Reinhart would follow, and he crushed a towering homerun to left center: 2-0 Cobras.  A special thank you to Mike Lenertz for retrieving the baseball on his behalf.  In the following inning as the score remained with two men on and nobody out, Naegeli would fall victim to injury (?) prompting the insertion of RP Matt Schuld in his place.  Cole Easley would lay down an effective sacrifice bunt to put runners in scoring position.  However, the Cobras were unable to move them across home plate.

With the precision of an R.F. Moeller jeweler, Derek Mason (not related) would continue to cut this gem of a start into the sixth inning when he’d run into his first trouble.  After allowing a hit, followed by two four-pitch walks, the bases were loaded with no one out.  Buckling down like a G, Derek induced two fly balls to Schmahl in CF, who would show off his laser and hold the tagging runner at 3rd both times.  Mini-Me had to be restrained and told to keep his pants on.

As their reputation precedes them, there is no quit in the Angels.  They would lead off the final frame with a double over the head of RF Reinhart, and add another double down the third base line past a lunging Sean Borman.  However, Derek would remain in the game and finish it off inducing the two final outs with the man on 2nd via pop-flies.

Once again we send our condolences to Sean Borman, as he was inflicted by yet another bat loss in only two days’ time.  Remember Sean, it’s in the valleys we grow.

The Cobras would celebrate at the nearby Pizza Luce for beers and slices of pizza.  Almost everyone got peperoni, prompting this reporter to ask why the hell they didn’t just get a large pie.

The Cobras take the weekend off from games to host the Fourteenth Annual Fundraiser Golf Tournament at New Hope Village Golf Course.  All are welcome, even me.

Welcome Sports Fans!  M.L. Highsocks, your humble townball reporter here to give you the business.  In what I assume was the only relevant town ball game played on this beautiful evening, your Cobras took on the Patriots at Parade Stadium in the late affair.  Starting for the Snakes was the stout, young lefty Ben Resnick, while the Patriots threw a left handed starter of their own.

The Cobras would get on the board first, scoring a pair of runs early due to some sly base running and assisted by mishaps in the Pat’s D.  Resnick thrived with the early lead, getting the first two outs of the early innings in quick fashion.  Two-out walks in consecutive innings would not hamper the southpaw, as he continued to put 0’s on his opponent’s scoreboard row.

Despite threatening throughout much of the game, the Cobras would manage only two more insurance runs to expand the lead to 4-0.  Luckily, Res-man wouldn’t need them as he powered through to complete the CG Shutout Wednesday.

Thoughts and prayers go out to Sean Borman, his family and friends.  He saw his bat die in his very hands right before his eyes.  A collective sigh and some rude giggling could be heard emanating from the Cobras dugout.

As is customary, the rest of the boys in blue (navy) congregated in the cavernous parking lot for libations and celebration of the victory, which pulls your favorite reptilians to a league record of 5-1, good for 2nd place in the Park National.  No ankles or axles have been reported broken.

The Cobras will face off tomorrow against the Angels at The Blake School field.  The angels have had a tough start to the season this year.  However, they never present an easy matchup.

Cobras "Iron 11" Battle Defending Champs Til The End

By Bob Ross 05/09/2019, 9:15am CDT

The Cobra vs. Park game got moved from Wednesday to Tuesday night due to inclement weather. The numbers were very thin, and the "iron 11" competed quite well, leading 4-3 into the 7th, but ended up suffering their 1st loss of the season 7-4. FNG hard throwing tall right handed college guy from Georgia, Kieran Liming was "effectively wild", keeping the Park hitters "uncomfortable" for 4 not anywhere near quick, but effective innings. The only casualty of his wildness was everyone's 2nd favorite umpire, Sir Billy Ryan (CSP), who took a ball to what looked like his manhood region, but it was just southeast of there. Anyhow, it sounded incredibly painful & it gave him a significant hitch in his giddy-up. Get some ice on that! Derek Mason also wore a bullet on his forearm, calmly picked the ball up & threw the guy out. He then ripped a 2 rbi double  Stud. Brick wall catcher Geophrey Mueller actually only let the 1 ball get by him. He was standing on his head. 3 game veteran Danny boy Smith pitched well again, going 4 solid innings. Gabe "mega-slice" MacDonald went oppo taco and had a nice scoop at 1st, and now leads the Snakes in home runs with 1, much to the chagrin on Seany B. Has Matty G letting him beat him at golf helped his confidence? Possibly. The Cobras 6-9 hitters had what you might call a rough night, going a combined 1-16 with roughly 10 K's (all swinging at least), with the 1 hit coming courtesy of former Cobra David "say hey Rey Rey" Reyes on a seed up the middle in the 9th. Thanks to Mason's buddy Chris for helping us out playing & making some nice grabs out in center. Also thanks to Duda & Paulsen for having us out, always good to see you guys. Next game is Friday night at Red Wing, then 1st league game vs of course Pub is Monday! In the words of wild man Mitchell Waletzki, LET'S GOOOO!!!!!

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MINNEAPOLIS COBRAS

State Tournament Appearances 1999, 2000 (2nd), 2001, 2002, 2003 (3rd), 2004, 2005, 2007, 2010 (3rd), 2013 (2nd), 2014, 2015 (3rd), 2016, 2018

The Minneapolis Cobras Baseball Club, established 1999, is one of the most successful Class A baseball teams in Minnesota. In the 19 seasons since inception, the Cobras have reached the State Tournament 13 times, finishing 2nd in 2000 and 2013, and 3rd in 2003, 2010 and 2015. The Cobras have players from all levels of competition, and have had several turn professional after playing with them. The Cobras are managed by Mason Reinhart, the 5th skipper in Cobras history. Come out and enjoy a game.

Follow us on Twitter @Cobras_Baseball

Red Cow is the preferred eatery of the Minneapolis Cobras. Ask for some caramel bacon puffcorn, you won't be disappointed.

Red Cow is the preferred eatery of the Minneapolis Cobras. Ask for some caramel bacon puffcorn, you won't be disappointed.

MINNEAPOLIS COBRAS

State Tournament Appearances 1999, 2000 (2nd), 2001, 2002, 2003 (3rd), 2004, 2005, 2007, 2010 (3rd), 2013 (2nd), 2014, 2015 (3rd), 2016, 2018

The Minneapolis Cobras Baseball Club, established 1999, is one of the most successful Class A baseball teams in Minnesota. In the 19 seasons since inception, the Cobras have reached the State Tournament 13 times, finishing 2nd in 2000 and 2013, and 3rd in 2003, 2010 and 2015. The Cobras have players from all levels of competition, and have had several turn professional after playing with them. The Cobras are managed by Mason Reinhart, the 5th skipper in Cobras history. Come out and enjoy a game.

Follow us on Twitter @Cobras_Baseball


Red Cow is the preferred eatery of the Minneapolis Cobras. Ask for some caramel bacon puffcorn, you won't be disappointed.

Minneapolis Cobras

State Tournament Appearances 1999, 2000 (2nd), 2001, 2002, 2003 (3rd), 2004, 2005, 2007, 2010 (3rd), 2013 (2nd), 2014, 2015 (3rd), 2016, 2018

The Minneapolis Cobras Baseball Club, established 1999, is one of the most successful Class A baseball teams in Minnesota. In the 19 seasons since inception, the Cobras have reached the State Tournament 13 times, finishing 2nd in 2000 and 2013, and 3rd in 2003, 2010 and 2015. The Cobras have players from all levels of competition, and have had several turn professional after playing with them. The Cobras are managed by Mason Reinhart, the 5th skipper in Cobras history. Come out and enjoy a game.

Follow us on Twitter @Cobras_Baseball