It was a beautiful evening in Coon Rapids, MN.  Your favorite squad was primed and ready to take on the Red Birds at Wintercrest Park.  Starting for the Snakes in navy shirts and white pants was Matt Germar, the German himself.  Starting for the Birds in their home red pinstripes was some young guy.

The Cobras would start off with a couple of runs on a consecutive singles by Cole Easley and Mike Lenertz to plate 2.  With a 2-1 lead, assisted by some questionable defense by Coon Rapids, the visitors would extend the lead to 6-1 while Germar gave way to Kieran Liming after 3 strong.  The Liming would run into trouble in the 5th, however, reducing the lead to 2.  Taking over pitching duties would be trouble maker and all around bad dude Ben Resnick.  After throwing 4 pitches to establish a 2-2 count with 2 outs and bases loaded, the Red Birds would notify the umpire of a balk.  At that very moment, the umpire began seeing red.  Laser beams shot out from his eyes, hair burst into flame and the stuff had hit the fan.  This humble reporter, helpless, watched in horror as he began his tirade.

In disbelief, Resnick would turn around, ball in glove, and walk right back to the mound.  The umpire would KICK HIM OUT OF THE GAME, and followed him to the mound to escort him off the field.  In would come nice guy Danny Smith, to try to calm the storm.  When the inning was finally over, the Cobras lead was gone, tied up 6-6.  In the following at bat, gentleman Nate Lutmer would plead politely for consistency and a reduction in suckery.  Tossed.  Chris Code would ask the umpire if he was doing alright, offering to listen if he needed to rant about a bad day.  Tossed.  Matt Germar, out of the game, would explain to the umpire his resemblance to a porcelain appliance favored in many bathrooms.  Tossed.  Mason Reinhart would also mention to him that he seems to be overly sensitive.  Not tossed?  Well good, because the Cobras now had 3 innings left to play with exactly 9 guys remaining eligible and no bullpen.

Danny Smith took on the challenge with a flourish of painted corners and 12-6 curveballs to keep the Red Birds at bay.  In the top of the 9th a new reliever would take the mound against the Snakes and provide an opportunity to score.  With a runner on, Jeff Miller would take one for the team, HBP.  Next, a walk and the bases were loaded.  The Cobras would put 3 points up on the board.  Danny would shut down the bottom of the inning to finish the game, which felt like it took forever, screaming “YEAH!” like he was auditioning for Braveheart 2.  The Team would convene in the parking lot to drink beer and attempt to process what had happened.  Kangaroo Court was held, and Gabe MacDonald extended his fine count lead.  The Snakes will travel out to Chanhassen on Sunday for a 7:30pm game.

Guess whose back… Back again.  ML Soggybottom here, your mostly stable sideline reporter to give you the news from almost a week ago.  The Cobras faced off against big city squad Metro Merchants on a lovely Monday evening at Parade Stadium.  Wait, this can’t be right… again?  The Cobras play the Merchants for the third time in a half a season?  My intern tells me yes, indeed that’s the case.  Starting for the Merchants is Big Dave.  They call him that because he comes up big in big games, and his name is Dave.  Starting for the Snakes was ColeD.  He’s so cold hearted he’s got ice in his veins.

ColeD started off the visitors’ first batter with two strikes.  He then promptly smoked him with a 98 mph curve ball.  Besides a line drive out to the right fielder, he would proceed to strike out 7 of the 9 hitters in his first go through the lineup.  Big Dave would respond with solid initial innings of his own.  However a couple of runs would scrape across the plate to put the Cobras up 2-0.

As the game wore on, the Snakes would add a couple more runs to extend the lead, and ColeD would exit the game after 4 shutout innings.  Pitching and defense would hold the Merchants pointless the remainder of the game, while the offense called Flo for more insurance.  Cobras win 7-0.

After the game, libations were consumed while court was held and fines were distributed liberally.

It was a clear blue day, a hot warm sun

Derek M. is on the bump, trying to hold runs

Skeeters out in droves, he got bit as funk

Just rollin’ in a groove, chillin’ all alone

Mason hit the hillside, dropped it by a tree

On a mission to run support Mr. Derek M.

Seen a bunch of town ball fans, no need to freak

All the skirts know Mase droppin’ B’s on ‘em

M.L. Looseglove, your humble town ball reporter, thanking Warren G. for the opener.  On this moist, hot afternoon, your Cobras took on the Angels at The Blake School.  Due to a rain-driven postponement on May 21, scheduling complications required this new arena on this later date.  Derek Mason started for the home team, while the Angels would call on #29 Chad Naegeli, a surgical lefty.

Mr. Derek M. rolled through the Angels lineup for the first few innings, while Naegeli responded with zeroes of his own in his first time through the Cobras lineup.  Finally, the Snakes would begin the scoring in the bottom of the third, led off by a Brandon Schmahl single.  Mason Reinhart would follow, and he crushed a towering homerun to left center: 2-0 Cobras.  A special thank you to Mike Lenertz for retrieving the baseball on his behalf.  In the following inning as the score remained with two men on and nobody out, Naegeli would fall victim to injury (?) prompting the insertion of RP Matt Schuld in his place.  Cole Easley would lay down an effective sacrifice bunt to put runners in scoring position.  However, the Cobras were unable to move them across home plate.

With the precision of an R.F. Moeller jeweler, Derek Mason (not related) would continue to cut this gem of a start into the sixth inning when he’d run into his first trouble.  After allowing a hit, followed by two four-pitch walks, the bases were loaded with no one out.  Buckling down like a G, Derek induced two fly balls to Schmahl in CF, who would show off his laser and hold the tagging runner at 3rd both times.  Mini-Me had to be restrained and told to keep his pants on.

As their reputation precedes them, there is no quit in the Angels.  They would lead off the final frame with a double over the head of RF Reinhart, and add another double down the third base line past a lunging Sean Borman.  However, Derek would remain in the game and finish it off inducing the two final outs with the man on 2nd via pop-flies.

Once again we send our condolences to Sean Borman, as he was inflicted by yet another bat loss in only two days’ time.  Remember Sean, it’s in the valleys we grow.

The Cobras would celebrate at the nearby Pizza Luce for beers and slices of pizza.  Almost everyone got peperoni, prompting this reporter to ask why the hell they didn’t just get a large pie.

The Cobras take the weekend off from games to host the Fourteenth Annual Fundraiser Golf Tournament at New Hope Village Golf Course.  All are welcome, even me.